Can't Possibly Be True

-Urban Legend Come to Life: Too-good-to-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and self-inflated to resemble "dough boys," usually with fatal results. However, in May in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Steven McCormack found himself in similar circumstances, and had it not been for quick-thinking colleagues who pulled him away, he would have been killed - as the air, puncturing a buttock, had already begun separating tissue from muscle. McCormack was hospitalized in severe pain, but the air gradually seeped from his body (according to a doctor, in the way air "usually" seeps from a body).

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Leslie Clarke, 29, turned himself in to police in Darwin, Australia, in May after authorities released surveillance tape of a break-in and vandalism at the Hidden Valley Tavern. Clarke, a large man, confessed to going on a drunken prowl with friends, but said he remembered the break-in only when he saw the video and recognized his distinctive image from the back, including several inches of his butt crack.

The Redneck Chronicles

(1) Zachary Woody, 21, of Calhoun, Ga., was charged with aggravated assault in May after stabbing a friend. Allegedly, Woody had escalated what was initially just a fistfight over whether Fords are better than Chevrolets. (2) Joseph Hayes, 48, was arrested in South Memphis, Tenn., in June after allegedly threatening (with a gun in his waistband) the hostess of a birthday party to which his kids had been invited but which ran out of cake and ice cream. "Y'all didn't save my kids no damn ice cream and cake," he was heard to say, and "I ain't scared to go to jail."

People With Issues

Stanley Thornton Jr., 30, and his "nurse"-roommate, Sandra Dias, featured on a May edition of the TV show "Taboo" (National Geographic Channel), are both drawing federal Supplemental Security Income as disabled persons, even though Thornton builds his own "adult baby" furniture (cribs and high chairs large enough to accommodate his 350-pound body) and operates a Web site where people living as adult babies can communicate. U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn asked the Social Security Administration to investigate whether Thornton is abusing the system (and Dias, too, since if she can "nurse" Thornton, she can "nurse" for a living). Thornton subsequently told The Washington Times that if his SSI checks were discontinued, he would kill himself.

Brave Nude World

Nakedness Recently in the News: (1) Just after Clayton County, Ga., schoolteacher Harlan Porter was told his contract would not be renewed, he walked naked through the school hallways (no students were present) and spoke of a "newer level of enlightenment" now that his "third eye was open" (April). (2) After a clothing malfunction, veteran marathoner Brett Henderson, 35, decided during the Flying Pig race in Cincinnati that, since marathoners sometimes run naked in California, he could do it there. Henderson outran police and stopped only when he was Tasered (May).

Visit Chuck Sehpherd daily at NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com.