Q: I can't stand my stepdaughter's boyfriend. He's a high-school dropout who walks around with his pants hanging off his butt. As far as I know, he's never held a job and he always smells like weed.
But my stepdaughter is not much better. She smokes and lets her big pregnant belly show.
My wife wants to throw her a big, expensive baby shower. I feel that we should help out financially with the baby, but this girl doesn't deserve a party. She hardly ever goes to school anymore and has broken every rule we have, including having sex in the house while we we’re at work.
Now my wife is running up my credit card and buying a whole bunch of stuff we don't need for this party. Last I heard, she's also paying for the girl to get her nails and hair done so she'll look good for the party. It just doesn't feel right.
Do I have to go?
Mia: No way. What's wrong with your wife? Yes, it's great to celebrate a new life coming into the world, but you shouldn't glorify unwed parents. Save that money for baby supplies. That poor kid's going to need it.
Those friends and relatives who want to help out will still contribute. But there's no need to hold a queen-for-a-day celebration for a young woman who's making poor decisions.
Steve: Save your money and offer to pay as much as you can for college or a technical school education for your stepdaughter if she graduates high school. Tell her if she fails to graduate, you will kick her out of the house. If your wife doesn't back you up, then it's time for you to leave.
Q: I found out that my on-again, off-again boyfriend hooked up with someone I know from the office. I'm mortified. I knew he was with women but now, when I see this woman, I feel so uncomfortable. Should I say something to her?
Mia: Like what? Unless you're going to ask her if she has any sexually transmitted diseases you should be aware of, then there's nothing you need to say to her. Now, why are you back with this guy again?
Steve: Say, “Isn't that funny noise he makes when having sex really goofy?”
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.