Sexcetera for April 4, 2013

MCTApril 2, 2013 

Q: I was single most of my life. I raised my children alone. Throughout my life, I was frequently invited to events and attended alone. I have reached the point in my life where my daughter's friends are getting married.

The problem is I got married two years ago, and I am still receiving invitations addressed only to me. I understand that when you have a catered event, the number of guests is very important.

I would love to attend these special events with my husband, but I don't want to be rude. Is it appropriate to contact the bride and ask if my husband is included in the invitation?

Steve: Of course it is. And it would also be a good idea to send out a marriage announcement, even two years late, just to let everyone know your status has changed. Note on the card “no gifts please,” so people don't think you're trolling for presents.

Mia: Steve's right. Spread the word that you're hitched. Better yet, have a big party and invite everybody to come celebrate.

Q: My problem's really weird. I can start out having sex and be perfectly fine, but somewhere in the middle of things, I just zone out and start thinking about the kids or letting the dog out one last time. I never say anything. I just make a couple of fake moans so my boyfriend will think I'm still into it. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Mia: Speak up, girl! You mention in your e-mail that you have kids, so surely you know the game by now. A woman has to ask for what she wants. If you find your mind drifting, he's not doing it for you.

Don't fake the funk. Tell your partner so he can switch his game up. Or why don't you take the initiative and suggest something hotter than the old missionary position? Pull out some handcuffs? Or maybe a can of whipped cream. Anything to be different. Get in the game, girl, or stop complaining.

Steve: Damn, Mia, it's the guy's fault because a busy mom has lots on her mind? Sex is 10 percent physical and 90 percent mental. If your head's not in it, the rest of the body parts are irrelevant.

Mia is right that you need to talk about it with your partner. Maybe discuss the kids and the dog first and get it off your mind so you can relax.

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.

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