Q: I went to my high school reunion last weekend and met an old lover I hadn’t seen in 20 years. We chatted, caught up with each other. I told him I’m happily married and gave him no hint of interest at all, but when the evening came to an end, he made a pass at me. It was as if he thought he could have me again, just because of the past. I was more annoyed at his presumption than insulted.
Did I make a mistake even talking to him?
Steve: As Proust observed, “Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them.” He still thought of you as a lover. But you made no mistake. If he contacts you, tell him to get into the current year. The past is gone.
Mia: Lighten up, girlfriend. At least you’re still turning heads. Don’t sweat it. Take his interest as a compliment, then forget it.
Q: Lately, my girlfriend is always mad at me. When I ask her what’s wrong, she says nothing. But she still gives me the cold shoulder. Our sex life is practically nonexistent. She never wants to go out. I’m starting to think she’s cheating on me.
Lately, I’ve been checking out her Facebook page and looking at her cellphone whenever I can to try to find clues. I’m thinking of asking one of her friends if she’s gone back to her ex. I’m starting to obsess about her.
What do you think?
Mia: I think you must be in high school. If so, aren’t there other girls in your class you could date? This one isn’t interested anymore.
Steve: I think Mia’s right. Time to move on.
Steve is a 50-something married man who’s been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.