Huckabee piles on the Homo Depot crusade

For Weekly SurgeMay 20, 2013 

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Homo Depot?

I’ve been stuck in the desert - literally and figuratively.

While driving through a part of the country that can only be described as the Dust Bowl of the Mind, I began to seriously lament the fact that I do not have satellite radio. Unfortunately, this limited my listening choices to the ranting of fundamentalist preachers or the ranting of conservative talk radio, both of which made me want to aim my Jeep in the direction of the nearest canyon and accelerate Thelma and Louise-style.

I had also been surviving this cross-country drive on a steady diet of 5 Hour Energy shots and Fiber One Protein bars. At this point, I needed to hear the sound of a human voice regardless of ideology just to keep me awake.

Somewhere in the middle of a landscape that offered nothing but assorted cacti and the random armadillo that misjudged the distance from one side of the road to the other, a voice came to me. It was the voice of someone whose reasoning skills were about as sound as the those of the armadillos littering the roadside of I-40.

It was the voice of Mike Huckabee.

You all remember Huckabee, right? He’s the former Governor of Arkansas, Southern Baptist minister and soundly rejected wannabe-President of the United States. He has now reinvented himself as a FOX News talk show host and member of his own rock band aptly dubbed Capitol Offense.

Well, now he has a new calling in life. He is helping lead the charge to close down Home Depot.

It seems Home Depot has invoked the ire of the right-winged henchmen of the International Brotherhood of God Hates You. The treasonous act that has caused this uprising is a donation made by Home Depot to the Human Rights Campaign. Known in more enlightened circles as HRC, the Human Rights Campaign is an organization committed to ensuring equal rights for members of the LGBTQ community. From the workplace to commerce to the military to marriage equality, HRC has been working to make the world more rainbow-friendly since 1980. Conversely, when organizations stand up for these values, the followers of the FOX crowd tend to rally themselves into a state of righteous indignation and take action to prevent another Great Flood or a repeat of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Sponsored by the American Family Association, the boycott of the Home Depot is a requirement for all decent folks due to the fact that they are guilty of promoting the homosexual agenda. I’m not making this up. It comes directly from the Web site www.afa.net.

I have limited space here so it’s impossible for me to share the extent of this organization’s ignorance with you but one brief blurb indicts Home Depot for “deliberately exposing small children to lascivious displays of sexual conduct by homosexuals and cross-dressers” which of course, we all know are the basic tenets of all HRC and Marriage Equality events. They want folks to take a pledge, sign a petition and pass the information along to all of their like-minded Klansmen. Oops, I mean associates.

When I see these types of boycotts and the angry and hateful words associated with them, I often wonder about the people who support this sort of activity. I mean, I know who they are and what they are. I was subjected to them during my childhood and my youth. I have evolved as a person and I would hope that they would, too, but that does not appear to be the case. Based on their words and petitions, they are still living in the era of separate drinking fountains.

Here’s the point they are missing: their agenda has been soundly rejected in the last two general elections.

Part of the reason for this is because they seem intent on nominating the most out-of-touch, elitist candidates they can find. The other part is because they are just plain mean. It’s how they are perceived and it’s how they proceed into every election. You would think after this many years, they would understand that the public is tired of the big bully act they keep trotting out on the platform. Denying people their rights and attempting to close down businesses is simply not a marketable action plan. It is an epic fail that is based on doing harm to others.

I understand that conservatives have to keep their base inspired until the mid-term elections next year and that they are quaking with fear at the prospect of Hillary Clinton in 2016 but I don’t think impeding commerce and extinguishing jobs is the most productive use of their time and resources.

I feel confident that Home Depot will survive this latest quixotic quest of the anti-queer crusades. I hate to disclose secrets of the gay community but Home Depot is one of our favorite retailers. We’re even willing to endure the occasional traditional family we may encounter in the aisles to shop there.

OUT & ABOUT

Friday, June 7 - First Friday Happy Hour will kick off its first official gathering of the summer at the Courtyard Myrtle Beach at Broadway. The group will meet in the newly renovated Bistro in the lobby area from 5:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. Courtyard @ Broadway is at 1351 21st Ave N in Myrtle Beach. For additional information visit www.firstfridayhappyhour.org.

Have a thought, comment or Out & About event? Send Drew Levy-Neal an e-mail to Drew.Levy.Neal@gmail.com. You can also follow him on Twitter: @Drew_Levy_Neal.

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