Q: My three-year relationship (engaged and living together) ended a few months ago after my fiancee walked out. I knew something was up and thought she was seeing someone else. She was constantly texting with another guy and spending the weekends overnight somewhere, saying she had been with friends and didn’t want to drive after going to a bar.
Now she is seeing this guy officially, but I’m finding it hard to move on and get back out in the dating world.
I’m in my mid-20s, and I wasn’t much of a lady-killer when I was single. Now it’s even more difficult.
Mia: Force yourself, dude. But since you’re still wounded, start with small steps. Have you tried online dating?
Before you put up a profile, make us proud by having a friend take some really good pictures of you. (Nobody looks that great in cellphone photos they take of themselves.) Make sure one of them is full length. One can be dressy. Another can be of you looking casual, maybe in a baseball cap.
Next, pick a Web site and post a profile. Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for in a woman. After you see for yourself how many gorgeous, honest women are out there looking for a decent guy like you, you’ll feel better and forget all about that lying, cheating, low-down skank you were living with.
Steve: As H.L. Mencken has observed, “Every failure teaches a man something, to wit, that he will probably fail again next time.” Is it difficult to keep going back out there? Of course! But you have to do it.
Why? Because failure is the basic building block of success.
Q: My babies’ daddy was picked up for owing a whole lot of back child support. He’s been in jail for three months, and the guilt is killing me.
On one hand, I’m mad at him for not paying, but on the other hand, he’s my kids’ father. They love him, even if he’s a deadbeat drunk and total waste of flesh.
Mia: How’s he ever going to pay up if he’s in jail? I’m not saying you’re wrong for going after him. That bum should help pay for his kids. But, again, how’s he going to pay you if he’s in behind bars?
Steve: And how are you going to get him to pay if he knows he won’t be punished for being a deadbeat dad? Sometimes tough love is the best love.
Steve is a 50-something married man who’s been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.