Sexcetera for June 20, 2013

MCTJune 17, 2013 

Q: My boyfriend never makes any noise when we're in bed together, not even a moan. The problem is that my ex was a real talker in the sack, so my new guy's silence freaks me out.

I've tried to get him to open up, but he won't do it. He told me he needs to focus while he's having intercourse. Any advice?

Mia: He's probably a little shy. But don't you love a challenge? The next time you are going at it in bed, ask him questions about what's going on. Ask him if he likes whatever it is that you're doing.

If he doesn't answer at first, keep at it. Be playfully persistent. He'll do it. Do something naughty that makes his eyes roll back in his head. He'll say whatever you want.

Steve: Maybe yes, maybe no. For some men and women, talking adds to the fun. For others, it's so distracting it ruins the moment. Rather than force a partner into something he doesn't like, how about a compromise? Sometimes you talk, sometimes you don't.

You may eventually reach a point where you have just enough chatter to make you happy but not enough to ruin his focus.

Q: A few weeks ago, I met a sexy fireman. He seemed really nice, but he wanted me to send him a picture of myself. I didn't feel comfortable with that, but I did. Then he said, “You have pretty legs. Can you send me a picture of your legs?” I said no, but all the girls are doing it. He's the second guy this year to ask me to send him a naked photo of myself.

My question is: In this Internet age, what's a girl to do? It must be something that's done a lot. Guys wouldn't keep asking you if they aren't having some success getting these kinds of photos.

Mia: Stick to your guns, girlfriend. You don't have to pornify yourself just because everyone else is. Don't give in.

Steve: Rule No. 8 in Steve & Mia's Guide to Romance: Don't record, photograph, video or write anything that you wouldn't want to see on the front page of a Web site.

Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.

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