Q: My sister was left at the altar a few years back by her fiance. She became severely depressed and was committed several times.
We worked very hard as a family to love her through the ordeal. It hasn't been easy. A few days ago she called me all excited and saying she's getting married to none other than her ex. She even asked me what had become of her wedding gown, because she's thinking of wearing it when she marries this cad.
I don't want to rain on her parade, but I'm sick about all this. I want her to be happy, but I don't think this guy is good for her because of what happened the last time around. She had us all so scared for her. We really thought she would kill herself.
Mia: Talk with her. But if you get all judgmental, she's just going to shut down. Tell her your concerns and then take a giant step back. It's her life. If she wants to give her ex-fiance another shot, she's going to. You might as well suck it up and start shopping for another bridesmaid's dress.
Steve: Man, this gal doesn't learn from scalding. Express your views frankly but make it clear you'll support her, whatever her decision. You'll never be able to control her love life, so just roll with it.
Q: My boyfriend has no idea what he's doing in bed. He just climbs on and rides like he's in a rodeo. It makes me hate him, but I can't dump him because he's so good to me and my kids.
Mia: Lasso that cowboy – or get used to a wide-legged stance. Seriously, you need to teach him that there's more to lovemaking than that. Start by watching a little porn and maybe showing him what you like. If that doesn't work, you may have to leave that cowboy out on the range.
Steve: Conversation is called for here. Ask him what he likes, and then tell him what you like. Then ask what he doesn't like and let him know the same. Unless he's totally selfish, he'll play it your way most of the time.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.