Q: At what point is it appropriate for a woman to ask a man out? I met a single man through work and we really get along great, share similar interests, etc. I know he’s not seeing anyone and keep waiting for him to suggest we go out, but it doesn’t happen. If I ask him to go to the movies or dinner, will he feel like I’m desperate?
Steve: Generally speaking, men will only ask out women they are attracted to. And it usually doesn’t take them long. I see nothing wrong with asking him directly whether he’d be interested in more than a collegial relationship, as long as you can handle a rejection.
Mia: Don’t ask! That guy might be gay. Or just not into you. If you do ask him out and he goes, do you think that means the dude’s going to fall madly in love with you? Not! Your co-worker sees what you’re working with and he’s not interested. Wait for someone who’s hot for you. If a man just likes you, they behave the way your colleague does. Don’t sell yourself short, you’re too fabulous.
Q: The woman I’m seeing is the love of my life but she has wild mood swings. One day she’s down, the next she’s up, talking about how she’s moving to NYC to become a model. She’s on medication but doesn’t always take it because she doesn’t like how it makes her feel. The problem is, we have a kid together, and when she’s depressed I can’t get her to pick up the phone or open the door. I sat outside her apartment the other day for hours, just hoping to see if she was alive. Don’t tell me to break up with her, because when it’s good, it’s awesome, and I mean that in every way, if you catch my drift. But the bad times are really bad.
Mia: Your main concern should be your child, not your love life. Contact social services and see about getting custody of your kid. Worry about your love life later.
Steve: Mia’s right. Your child comes first.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.