Myrtle Beach’s kookiest crimes

For Weekly SurgeNovember 26, 2013 

This Trumps the Battle Between the Rubber Ducky and the Plastic Battleship

There’s something so unclean about this situation.

A woman was arrested by Myrtle Beach police on Nov. 12 after allegedly attacking her boyfriend while he was in the bathtub.

Can’t a guy just soak in bubbles in peace?

According to the police report, the man was in the tub when the woman came in and started accusing him of adding one of her friends to his favorites in his cell phone.

Sounds like someone needs to activate a security code on his cell phone, but we digress.

Anyway, the man told police that while his girlfriend was chewing him out, she started throwing things at him that she found on the bathroom sink counter. Eventually, the suspect started scratching at the victim and pulling his hair.

Oh yeah, she did all this while also holding a 2-year-old boy, the report stated. Doesn’t sound like someone you’d want to hire as a babysitter.

To make matters worse, the woman reportedly gave police three different accounts of what happened. The first, which she later retracted, was that the man kicked her to the ground after the argument started. The second was that she bit him on the hand a week prior.

And the third and final story was that the man was looking for a little hanky panky, but she wasn’t in the mood. So, he got mad and a shoving match started.

However, police saw that the victim had physical injuries that were consistent with his story, according to the report. So, it was she who wound up in cuffs.

Is This the Very Definition of Karma?

You kind of have to wonder if this was a quintessential example of the cosmos getting its revenge.

George William Smith turned himself into Conway police on Nov. 18 for his connection to an Oct. 5, 2012 armed robbery of The Medicine Mart, according to a press release.

Smith is accused of going into the store, brandishing a weapon and demanding Oxycontin. Ironically, 11 months ago, Smith was linked to similar pharmacy robberies in New Mexico, just as he was lying in an Albuquerque hospital from a suspected drug overdose.

Hmm … drugs, law enforcement and Albuquerque. Those sound like the perfect ingredients for a TV show. Wonder if anyone’s thought of it yet?

What Does $300K Buy You? A Trip to the Slammer

If you’re going to steal from the federal government, rest assured that Uncle Sam will never forget.

That’s what Conway residents Joseph Curto and Catherine Curto learned on Nov. 21 when they entered guilty pleas in the federal court in Florence for stealing almost $300,000 in government funds, according to a press release.

Joseph Curto, 59, started receiving Social Security disability benefits in July 1992 for a back injury. At the same time, he also got Ohio Workers Compensation benefits.

Curto seemed to think he could slip one by the feds and work a few jobs while still receiving his federal compensation. In February 2011, an investigator with the Ohio Bureau of Workers Compensation and an agent with the Social Security Administration started looking into the matter and found the man had worked at various jobs since November 2011, the release stated.

Curto’s wife, Catherine, got into the act and allowed her husband to use her Social Security number while working, thus concealing the fact he was holding down employment. This greedy couple ended up getting overpaid $155,618 from the Social Security Administration and $143,202 by the Ohio Workers Compensation.

Suddenly, lyrics from the big hit of 2013 have popped into our head: “But everybody’s like Cristal*, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece. Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash.”

Yep, these two will no longer be living like “royals.”

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