Myrtle Beach’s kookiest crimes

For Weekly SurgeDecember 11, 2013 

A Drink Equated With Childhood Innocence Isn’t So Innocent

This type of story makes us a little sad.

On Nov. 24, Myrtle Beach police spoke with a woman who said someone stole $10 from her while she was at a Kangaroo convenience store/gas station on U.S. 501.

And when did this crime happen? While the victim was at the Slushy machine.

What? The Slushy machine? Are you serious? Slushies were a fond memory from childhood, a comforting, delicious treat that made you believe in endless possibilities, like getting the game-winning homerun in Little League baseball.

A Slushy should never bring to mind larceny.

But for this poor woman, it apparently happened that way. She told police she had a $10 bill on the counter as she filled up her drink, then pointed the coffee machine out to another lady who wasn’t in the mood for a Slushy, according to the police incident report.

When the victim turned around to get a straw, the money disappeared. She saw the coffee lady walking off, and asked her to give back the $10. The supposed thief said she didn’t know what the woman was talking about and left the store, the report stated.

Police were supposed to look at surveillance footage to see if there was a recording of the theft.

Law and disorder

The old saying is “You can’t fight city hall.”

Well, here in Myrtle Beach, someone tried to burn it down.

In the late-evening hours of Dec. 3, Myrtle Beach police received a call that two people threw something at Myrtle Beach City Hall that led to a fire starting, according to a press release. It caused very little damage to the exterior of the building and had been extinguished before emergency crews arrived on scene.

What was used to ignite this fire? The ol’ Molotov cocktail.

Police continued to investigate and identify the perpetrators. We have to wonder if the individuals really wanted to get out of paying their property taxes.

Pour Some Sugar On Me … But No Later than 11:59 p.m.

If you’re planning to make it rain in a gentleman’s club within the jurisdiction of Horry County, you better let those singles fly before midnight.

A new county ordinance has set stricter rules for adult entertainment establishments found outside of the county’s municipalities, including not being open between midnight and 6 a.m. And at least one such establishment was found in violation when the ordinance went into effect on Dec. 4.

According to an Horry County police incident report, the manager at Teezers was cited for being in violation of the ordinance following a walk-through by law enforcement 12:09 a.m.

Over the course of the walk-through, police determined booze was still being sold, music was still being played and the dancers were still dancing “in a sexual manner” as people in the audience watched, and with googly eyes, we’re assuming.

There was no information as to whether Buckcherry’s “Crazy Bitch” was the song playing.

Mind blown

Pardon our French, but how in the fuck does this happen?

In a press release sent out Dec. 9, Conway police informed residents that there have been reports of mail being stolen from people’s personal mailboxes.

Victims told police that some of this outgoing mail included personal checks used to pay bills. On at least one occasion, the stolen checks were used to purchase goods at an area retailer, the release stated.

Let us repeat that: A check written out to pay a bill was stolen, and then used by the thief or thieves to purchase goods and services in the Conway area.


We certainly don’t advocate theft of any type, especially when it’s a federal offense like mail tampering. But we also don’t advocate incompetence in the customer service industry.

Of course, as anyone who has ever been through a fast food drive-thru can attest, that’s just wishful thinking.

Again … facepalm.

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