Myrtle Beach’s kookiest crimes

For Weekly SurgeApril 8, 2014 

Most Random Shopping Cart Ever

Most thieves go for jewelry, electronics or cash. This guy took the a la carte approach to stealing.

On March 31, officers with Horry County, Myrtle Beach and Briarcliffe Acres police departments worked to arrest a man on shoplifting charges after recovering more than $1,500 worth of merchandise that he’d reportedly stolen from an area Lowe’s Foods, Walmart, Piggly Wiggly and Kroger.

Among the items taken were fresh seafood and perfume, according to the incident report.

Police were on the lookout for the suspect after Kroger employees reported that he’d stolen meat. A “be on the lookout” alert was issued, and police found his vehicle and performed a traffic stop.

Inside was his stash. He reportedly admitted to taking items from all the locations. He also had two outstanding warrants for unrelated incidents.

How does seafood and perfume go together? Is he trying to impress a girl with a homemade meal and the gift of a wonderful fragrance? Because there are easier ways to woo a lady that don’t involve grand larceny

Next Stop, Rehab?

You may need a drink for this one.

Myrtle Beach police went to a residence in the 500 block of 28th Avenue North on April 5 because of an open 911 call that came in. There, police met a man who said he had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, according to the incident report.

He told police the couple had given up drinking to help with their relationship. The two had a nice day while out, but once they got home, they started to argue about her past, the report stated.

Whoa, time out! It’s admirable to give up drinking to help with a relationship. But why in the hell, while the two are detoxing, does the guy see that as the prime opportunity to start talking about his girlfriend’s past? We’ve all got them, but it’s not necessarily something that should be discussed at inopportune moments.

OK, end of free relationship advice. The man said his girlfriend then started throwing things around the apartment, slapped him and clawed him, the report stated.

Afterwards, she took off. When police called her because they wanted her to come back and tell her side of the story, she reportedly refused because she didn’t want to go to jail.

As long as she didn’t go and cool down in a bar somewhere.

Eviction Notice

We said after college that we’d never have another roommate until we were ready to put a ring on someone’s finger. Stories like this are why.

Myrtle Beach police arrested a woman on April 4 and charged her with destruction of property.

Police went to an apartment complex at 35th Avenue North after reports of a disturbance. They met with the woman, who said her male roommate wouldn’t let her in, so she broke the window, according to the incident report.

She claimed she’d been living at the apartment since March 2, despite not having the address listed on her driver’s license or even having a key.

She claimed she didn’t have one because only the man and a third roommate had the two keys, the report stated. She also told police the man took all her stuff and threw it into a nearby dumpster.

Police reportedly found nothing of hers in the dumpster.

When she did get in the house, followed by police, the man inside demanded to know why she was there. Everyone looked for proof that she actually lived there, but only found a winter jacket.

The man told police a former roommate used to have the woman over sometimes, and once he moved out, she cleared out the few items of hers that were there.

She reportedly had nowhere to stay this particular night, and asked the man if she could crash there. He refused, and the woman told him, “I’ll break in anyway and make it seem like I’ve been living there. I know the law.”

No, lady, it appears you don’t know the law. Hence, the shiny new pair of bracelets those fine gentleman in blue gave you to wear.

Shut the Fudge Up!

Oh, you wacky college kids and your wacky parties!

Officers at Coastal Carolina University went to a home on University Circle on April 1 after getting a loud noise complaint. A big group was there, and many were making “loud and vulgar comments,” according to the incident report.

Shit, what the hell do you think those assholes were saying?

The police told the tenant that anyone not living there had to leave. Two kept on with the potty mouthing, and left with citations and a trip to the Horry County Detention Center.

Bet that fucking sucked!

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