"disaster movie"
The cinematic criminals behind such supposed "comedies" as "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie" have struck again and this time they've brought fake celebrity Kim Kardashian along for the ride. When a series of disasters strike the U.S., a group of blandly beautiful babes (Kardashian, Carmen Electra and Vannessa Minnillo) find themselves in the middle of a bunch of bad spoofs of popular movies. "Iron Man," "Sex and the City" and "The Dark Knight" are just three of the summer blockbusters lampooned here, for no other reason beyond the fact that the audience may remember seeing them. 1 hr. 30 mins.
"college"
Hard to believe it's only been 30 years since National Lampoon's "Animal House" made the world safe for frat-house comedies. The latest "Animal House" descendant is "College," which stars Nickelodeon star Drake Bell as a high-school senior whose friends trick him into attending freshman orientation week at the local university even though he'd rather stay home and sulk about being dumped by his girlfriend. All sorts of dorm-room hijinks ensue, although it's safe to assume none will be as funny as John Belushi's immortal impression of an exploding pimple. 1 hr. 34 mins.
"babylon a.d."
Hey Vin Diesel, welcome back to the multiplex! Where have you been the past few years? Still hiding out from all those sci-fi fans that want their money back from "The Chronicles of Riddick"? Well, here's hoping you don't fall further into debt with "Babylon A.D.," where you play a futuristic mercenary who agrees to smuggle a mysterious young woman to safety. So it's "Children of Men" meets "Blade Runner," huh? Well, good luck with that. If it bombs, at least you've got "Fast and the Furious 4" due out next summer. 1 hr. 30 mins
"traitor"
Why is this well-crafted, genuinely exciting spy thriller being dumped into theaters in the dog days of late August? Wish I had the answer to that question, but all I can do is encourage action/thriller fans to seek "Traitor" out. Don Cheadle stars as a former U.S. Special Ops agent who may or may not have joined a group of Islamic extremists who have plans to launch a major terrorist on U.S. soil. Guy Pearce plays the FBI agent on Cheadle's tail and Said Taghmaoui scores a breakout role as the leader of the terrorist cell. If you enjoyed the "Bourne" trilogy, you'll have a great time with "Traitor." 1 hr. 50 mins.
-Ethan Alter is a New York-based film critic and journalist. He can be reached at nycfilmcritic@gmail.com.